4 Habits Fueling Your Frustrations

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I know the rhythm of frustration oh, too well. It beats down your spirit, clouds your perspective and leads you to believe your whole world is crashing down. But is it? Truth is in times like these, it is not that your whole world is collapsing; it is simply that you let the wrong things become your world. Maybe you have lost focus; it has been compromised by what you see, the issues of life, the obstacles, and trials that attempt to steal your joy and erase the purpose each season holds.  So I wrote this article to shed light on the habits we often develop that prevent us from thriving in the midst of our daily frustrations.

Habit is defined as a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up. It can be mental, emotional, physical or spiritual.

After examining my life, as well as having numerous conversations with my girlfriends, I am convinced that our habitual thoughts and thinking patterns fuel our frustrations in ways we have yet to identify or accept.

But as T D. Jakes says, “We cannot conquer what we are unwilling to confront.”

Frustration is defined as the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of the inability to change or achieve something.

But what if your frustration has more to do with your perspective and little to do with your abilities and circumstances? What if your perspective is birthing habits that fuel negative emotions and experiences? Can you imagine how life-changing it would be if you allowed your perspective to fuel your vision, purpose and a positive attitude?

Well, it’s time we get personal and confront 4 habits that may be fueling your frustration.

1. YOU ARE TRYING TO MOVE AHEAD WITHOUT MASTERING WHERE YOU ARE.

How often do you ignore the seeds of today while glorifying the fruit of tomorrow? Sometimes, we forget that the fruits of tomorrow live in the seeds of today. Unless we pay attention to where we are and work on what needs to be taken care of in this present season, we cannot really expect to elevate to the next level.

I’m sure you’ve heard the popular statement, “new level, new devil.” No matter how high you go, you will never be immune from trials or attacks. That’s a fact of life. However, the key is finding peace in your current position while practicing the art of growth, even when your temporary position doesn’t reflect your dreams. You may despise the season you are in right now, but it may very well be the training ground for the next. If you cannot beat level one’s “devil,” you surely won’t beat level two’s.

2. YOU ARE FOCUSING ON WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE, INSTEAD OF UTILIZING WHAT YOU DO HAVE.

Are you frustrated because of a lack of resources: money, opportunity, and friends? I’m sure we can all think of 101 things we don’t have, but what about the 101 things we do have?

How often do you sell yourself short believing you don’t have what it takes to thrive with purpose, get the job of your dreams, or make the difference you know you were created to make?

Are you blocking your progress? Are you waiting for what you don’t have while underutilizing what you do have? Do you find yourself comparing your life to friends, family members, and co-workers?

Growing up, I always wished I was louder and more outspoken like some of my counterparts. However, as I grew older, I realized you don’t have to be the loudest in the room to be the loudest in the room. You can be soft-spoken and still shake the room with your uniqueness. Rather than trying to be like everyone else, you need to harness your God-given power and embrace who you are and what you possess.

3. YOU ARE MORE IN TUNE WITH THE VOICES OF OTHERS WHILE UNFAMILIAR WITH THE VOICE OF GOD.

As women, too often we carry the voices of others on our backs. Day by day, those voices and opinions weigh us down and convince us to embrace identities that undermine the woman God created us to be. As hard as it is to reject the noise and turn down the volume on the lies, we must train ourselves to distinguish the difference between the world’s voice and God’s voice. I am yet to meet a person who doesn’t want to be liked and accepted, but what’s likable and acceptable in the world’s eyes won’t always be pleasing to God.

To become familiar with God’s voice, we must practice choosing purpose over popularity and God’s vision over the world’s validation. We truly cannot serve two masters. Until we choose one, we will battle with the frustration of confusion.

4. YOU ARE NOT LIVING ACCORDING TO YOUR BELIEFS.

I will never forget my coworker (who was like a mentor) plainly asking me that spirit-nudging question 3 years ago. I was in her office sharing my dreams, as well as my frustrations. As she observed me across her desk, she simply asked, “Shandice, are you living according to your beliefs?”

Dear Purposeful Woman,

Are you living according to your beliefs?

So many people talk about God, what they stand for, what they like and don’t like and the list goes on. But few people wholeheartedly apply their beliefs to their lifestyles. We allow frustrations to consume us, derail us, and negatively affect our journeys when God already promised never to leave or forsake us. We allow the voices of others to weigh on our existence when God told us we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

I know I’m not alone when I say I want my life to reflect my beliefs in every area. I want my faith to show on my face. I want my relationship with God to touch my relationships with my friends, family, and anyone else I meet along the way. I want to be the REAL DEAL. Not just a speaker of the words I claim to believe. I want to be a doer and true example of those words. Do you feel me?

I know it isn’t easy, but it’s POSSIBLE. So today, I encourage you as I encourage myself: let us reflect, refocus and allow our faith to fuel our purpose, instead of allowing misplaced priorities and bad habits to fuel our frustrations.

What habits do you need to drop that are currently fueling your frustrations?


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Shandice Stallworth | DPW Founder

Dear Purposeful Woman is on a mission to transform how women see themselves, live their faith and walk with purpose daily. I hope my products, programs, and resources encourage you along your purposeful journey. You are here for a purpose, one that lives in the big and small moments of everyday life. Most importantly, it lives within you.

You can keep up with Shandice over on www.shandicestallworth.com