How Scheduling “Me Time” Liberated Me as a Mother, Wife, and Purposeful Woman

Guest Post Written By Celma Ococ

Guest Post Written By Celma Ococ

1 or 2 hours a day keeps the devil away!

And I’m not talking about apples. I’m talking about “me time,” time away from our loving husbands and amazing children.

Let’s rewind to the beginning of this year:

The 1st of January was great – a brand new day and a brand new year. I’m buzzing because there’s so much that I want to accomplish this year and more than anything I don’t want a repeat of last year. I want to be better, be brave, and get it all together.

It’s the 2nd of January, and I’m still buzzing! In my head, I have the week planned out, and I’m optimistic that things will get done. It’s the 3rd of January now, my baby boy (4 months) is teething or going through something that I haven’t yet managed to Google. My 2-year-old daughter is still hyper from all the cakes and sweets she had over Christmas (I’m in denial; this is just how she always is. Lol). And my 5-year-old is moaning again about wearing a skirt or trousers to school. It’s OK Celma; it’s only day three. There’s still tomorrow. That’s what I tell myself.

Tomorrow has come, and I am in the same place; nothing has changed. I’m still busy taking care of my family. I can just about go to the toilet without being interrupted again. Suddenly, that buzz I had was gone!

I thought to myself, WHO AM I KIDDING!? There is no way I’m going to have time to achieve my goals and fulfill my purpose when I have three children to take care of. Maybe this is God’s way of telling me this is not my season, and I should focus on being a mother for now, or, at least, until my son is one year old? Those thoughts were attacking me every day. Every time the evening came around, I was exhausted, and my goals began to feel impossible to obtain. I became jealous of my husband who would come home from work, have time to relax, put his feet up or catch up with sports. He could do whatever he wanted to do but I couldn’t! Because even if I wasn’t physically moving, mentally, my mind was in “rush hour mode” thinking about changing nappies or what’s for dinner?

There was no mental break.

I told one of my close friends how I felt. I said, “I’m done!” And I have no choice but to stop dreaming.

I was always Mum but rarely was I “Celma,’” although Celma was there before I became a mum or wife. After having a conversation with my friend, I realized that it wasn’t God telling me to postpone my goals; it was the devil attempting to derail me. I allowed him to contaminate my thoughts when I was weak, instead of finding my strength in God. Why did I do that? All because I didn’t reserve the time to be me.  Having no “me time” caused me to be mentally exhausted very quickly. I neglected my own needs for the sake of my family, which is what we all do. However, it can be one of the most damaging choices we can ever make. I honestly believe that as mothers, we are the foundations of our homes. If we don’t take time to be ourselves away from all the titles we own, eventually, we will suffocate. The devil will then proceed to glide into our thoughts and homes.

Being a mother is not an excuse for neglecting to spend time with yourself. I put my hands up! That was my excuse, but it’s not anymore. I had an honest conversation with my husband without making him feel bad. I said, “Babes, I need ‘me time.’ There are things I want to do, and I need you to watch the kids for a few hours a day so I can mentally revive.” Although I had “me time” in the past, it was irregular and spontaneous but as soon as I started having regular, consistent, daily “me time” my life began to change, and so did my mood. I felt motivated and powerful. I was unstoppable. I became determined to make sure every minute was used wisely, away from the distractions of social media and the daily hustle and bustle.

Use your “me time” to read books, do some writing, paint, dance or brush up on your skills. Do something you enjoy and makes you feel like yourself. I tell you now, the devil will return to mess with your thoughts, but it’s OK because this time, you will know what to do to shake him off.

Raising the next generation can be challenging, but let’s not allow society or the devil to make us believe being mothers is all we can and should do. After all, they don’t call us superwomen for nothing!


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Celma Ococ | DPW Guest Writer

Celma Ococ is a UK-based motherhood and mental health advocate and founder of a community initiative called Time 4 Mums. Learn more here.